Touch me...
Don't touch me

As I lie on the massage table, I find myself wanting to jump up and say 'don't touch me.' So why, if that's what I'm thinking, am I lying there? Stark naked with only blankets and sheets between me and some stranger who is about to touch me all over?

I'm especially thinking, don't touch me around my tummy - for some or other reason that body part feels especially vulnerable right now. It feels that way because I've gained weight - AGAIN! It feels vulnerable because my head and my tummy have been arguing backwards and forwards. It feels that way because if I had to describe it I'd say it looks like a white lumpy tire of dough someone attached around me. It's part of my menopausal weight grain.

Well in truth you couldn't really call it argueing. Fact is my tummy really hasn't been able to stand up for itself even if she has the excuse of female hormones.

It's just taken all the abuse handed out by my head. It's heard that it is fat and ugly, that it's starting to hang like a curtain over other nether regions, that it's wobbly and unattractive, and it's taken it all lying down because deep down, it believes it all to be true.

I was touched
by her touch

And as I'm thinking about someone touching me, I feel cool hands moving rhythmically over my back. And it feels good even though it's interspersed with thoughts that soon I'm going to have to turn over and she's going to touch me on that body part that I wish no-one would touch. My body image and self-esteem. I realize have taken a beating.

All too soon, it's time to turn over again thinking about how she'll soon touch me on my tummy. And then I decide to say something to make me feel better. I say: "my head has been rather unkind to my tummy, so when you get to it, please would you touch it with tenderness". Of course I felt idiotic when she said she didn't usually do abdoment massages but she could if I wanted it. "Oh, no," I reassured her, feeling awfully relieved, "I don't need you to".

But that didn't last long she moved the blankets off my tummy and said that she'd like to massage my tummy. Drat! I felt myself feeling all tensed up again. But she touched me with such gentle tenderness that I honestlly felt she'd touched me in a way that a timple tumy massage could never have. I left filled with gratitude that shown me a way to be kind to my tummy.

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© Copyright ditch-diets-live-light.com 2008: Photos of Cari by Di Loria
Disclaimer: Your unique health situation may not allow you to stop dieting.
ALWAYS CONSULT WITH YOUR INDIVIDUAL HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONAL.
Neither Cari Corbet-Owen nor ditch-diets-live-light.com dispense medical advice.

SBI!