Is 'thin' living light?

When I talk about living light, I won't be at all surprised to know that many of you automatically assume that I'm talking about being thin.

You can't be blamed for thinking that with all the advertising messges put out by the weight loss industry. And before I knew what I know now, I could have jumped to the same conclusion. In my eyes, thin and living joyfully were joined at the hip!

Living light is a mental place - it's not necessarily dependent on a particular body size of shape. I've seen this over and over in the discussions on our online group. It's heavy thoughts that prevent us from joy-filled living.

'Thin' and 'happy’ don’t necessarily belong in the same sentence. (No they don't - that's just a myth). If that was the case, I'd have been at my happiest when I was anorexic. And I wasn't - it was a miserable existence. My head was still jam-packed with heavy thoughts.

Or I would have been at my happiest when I was at my goal weight - but I wasn't. I was still so food- and body-obsessed. It was like living in a jail where the bars were self-made ones, constructed of my heavy thoughts. It didn't feel light at all.

Heavy thoughts on being thin

Your heavy thoughts are what keep you from have a joy-filled existence. It's those that have to change.

And if you think that you're single because you aren't thin - well think again. You're more likely to be single because you aren't joy-filled than because of your body shape or size.

And frankly, I haven't come accross any diets that offer a money-back-guarantee if once you've lost weight Prince Charming doesn't swoop down from his palace on the hill, in his Lamborgini to sweep you into his forever loving arms.

In fact, reaching Thinland comes with other heavy thoughts we might never have dreamed of. For example, I've worked with many survivors of sexual abuse for whom being thin can be downright scarey because it thrusts them into situations they'd never anticipated... like sexual advances.

Other people are amazed to find that their larger body gave them an excuse not to participate in certain parts of life. Being thin can take away that 'protection'.

Wanting thinness, and having it, can be two totally different things.

Many Dietonians assume that once they finally reach Thinland, they’ll finally be able to relax, ditch diets and start living light. But more often than not, because their focus has been ‘thin’ instead of growing their 'love of self' being thin hasn't changed their underlying heavy thoughts, which govern their attitudes and habits.

My thin was my heavy

My body is heavier now - but my thoughts have changed and it's that that has meant I now live light. Being joy-filled happened when I really 'got' that I was Under construction.

As one person in our online Mind over Fatter forum wrote:

"What I’m not realising that I am actually a piece of art in the making. There are days where I feel like a Salvador Dali and days where I see myself as a Monet. But yet, I expect to see myself as a Monet everyday. Not realising in seeing myself as a Dali, is already such a huge step, as I was always seeing myself as a crude wax crayon drawing. Baby steps! Every single day!”

It's these kinds of shifts that bring living light to the fore. The beauty of this is that you can live light before your body even gets lighter.

The figures on the scale may look great, but when you're not living light your mind is still triggering unhealthy-for-your-health-neuropeptides because of your stressful relationship with food and your heavy thoughts about your body.

Being thin didn't automatically mean my life suddenly had purpose or meaning. Um....unless you call obsessing about staying thin and not regaining what I'd just lost as 'purpose' or 'meaning' - which I don't.

When I'd only changed my body, my relationship with life in general hadn't changed in any permanent way. Sure I had the temporary pleasure from the exterior chance of a smaller body (that made me feel as if I was living light for a short while), but my lasting happiness has had to be built from an internal source.

Being thin doesn’t mean your relationships become more functional and that you suddenly have this fabulous social life you’ve always dreamed of.

Being thin doesn’t mean you’ll drop your heavy thoughts and start liking your body, or that you’ll make peace with all parts of yourself. Even when I was thin, I hated my stomach and breasts. I didn't feel any better proportioned than before. Nor did I stop comparing myself unfavourably. So living light was still eluding me.

Being thin doesn’t mean your relationship with a significant other will improve.I once said to my husband: "You hated me when I was fat." He replied: "No, you hated you when you were fat and you've hated yourself when you've been thin too. It wasn't ever your body size that was the problem. It was your thinking!"

He was right - don't you hate it when husbands are so right?

Ditching diets and living light is a gradual process in which the mind has to take the lead by shedding it's heavy thoughts before the body can follow. For while the body can change relatively quickly, our deeply ingrained habits and attitudes take a lot longer.

Living light isn't necessarily about having a particular body size or shape at all. You can be overweight and be closer to living light than someone who is clothes-hanger-thin.

Here's why... the difference between whether we're living light or heavy can only be measured by our attitudes, habits, and in how comfortable, alive and vibrant we feel living in our body.

Light thoughts on being fat

One day, lying on the beach was a woman who was easily four times my size. But she knew how to live lightly, you could see it in how she walked and talked. It was amazing, everyone was absolutely drawn to her.

Here I was, in my minuscule body by comparison, but while she was living light, and drawing men to her like bees to a honeypot, I was trapped in my heavy thoughts.

That’s why I call the path to living light: ‘Mind over Fatter’ and not ‘Body over Fatter’.

Click to join Mindoverfatter

If you find this website useful, feel free to recommend it to a friend.