I want my body back!

by Amanda
(Somerset West, South Africa)

I am so tired of being fat! I put on 25kg during my first pregnancy, 8 years ago, and only lost 15. My second child was born 17 months after that and I put on more weight. 16 months ago I had my 3rd child, and now I'm as fat as ever! I need to lose 20kg and I just can't do it! I have no self esteem left, I don't feel sexy at all and I'm just not the same person my husband married 9 years ago. My weight is the one thing stopping me from actually living. I so want to run around with my kids and have fun with them but I just can't. I'm too embarrassed. And it's enough now. Today I started to follow an eating plan I found in a magazine ( I don't know if that qualifies as a "diet" but at this stage I feel like I need to be told what to eat).

Having a toddler around all the time also makes it very difficult to exercise so right now I'm at my lowest.

When I get time, perhaps when the little one is sleeping, I will try and read all my e-zines that I've received and saved. There aren't enough hours in my day!

I've decided to set myself a goal to try and lose only half a kilo a week. Is this realistic? Better than wanting to lose 2kg a week I suppose, which was just insane, as I was starving myself.

I've filled a bottle of water and my aim is to drink at least 2 each day especially now in winter when I don't drink much at all.

I need to get my mind right and climb this huge mountain in front of me!!! I want to feel like the old me again!