High Self Esteem, Low Self Esteem - what does it mean?
Diet myth # 5: Focus on your body
High self esteem should be be your biggest concern - not just your body shape and size... that's having thick beauty. The more I focussed on my body ideal and weight, the worse my
compulsive eating
became.
I went through my fats and thins, plus size and biafran size and the more I fixated on my body and dieting the more my
poor self esteem
swamped me. You're not dieting because of food! All dieting is because of a sense of lack: you're dieting because at some or other level you don't feel you 'are' enough, you 'have' enough or are 'loved' enough. The antidote isn't to be found in food or more self-hatred. Believe it or not, the real antidote is to be more self-loving.
The goal MUST be improving self esteem
and self-love
The goal needs to be growing yourself as a self-loving person. When you grow emotionally and spiritually, you realize how bizarre and non-sensical this obsession with body and food is.
When you can ditch diets, you can
live light
and let your
body ideal weight
find you instead of continually fighting to get there. When you have high self-esteem and high levels of self-love your need for a 'zero perfection' body will fade. When I say you have to grow spiritually - people want to know if Mind over Fatter is a religious program. No, it's not, it's actually a self-love and self-respect programme. It has as its central premise the fact that we are all Sacred Beings and that living a joy-filled life is less about the size of your breasts, the breadth of your hips or the depth of your fat than it is about the size of your spirit, the breadth of your love (especially self-love) and the depth of your joy. The other premise on which Mind over Fatter is based is that it is never more beneficial to be self-hating than it is to be self-loving. The more we hate ourselves, the more insecure we feel, the more insecure we feel the more we struggle to have high self esteem and ever feel peaceful and fulfilled. It's as simple as that!
We're 'under re-construction'
A MOFster (that's what I call the Mind over Fatter members of our free e.mentoring group - anyone who wants to free themselves from dieting can join) whose goal is having high self esteem shared this with us: "I read a fabulous analogy in Louise Hay's book yesterday - she was discussing how sometimes ugly things come up during healing.  Click to join Mindoverfatter She said it is not unlike cleaning a burnt pot - we take the pot, and soak it overnight : and by the morning, all the gook comes up to the top of the water and looks very ugly, but then we rinse it out and wipe it - and the pot is clean!! When we are learning to release our stressors, for a while they also come to the surface and look ugly, but it is a part of the cleaning process. I love this analogy because often I have experienced these dirty pots : and I have been disheartened because I thought that meant that I am not healing : but in truth I am!" There's just no need to put your life on hold until you reach some or other figure on that bathroom scale, you're already beautiful, fabulous and wonderful right now. You're already worthy of your own self love and the love of others. Don't you dare let anyone (especially yourself) tell you anything different.
The goal must be living and loving NOW
I'm not saying that losing weight can't make you feel wonderful. I am saying having high self esteem and high levels of self love will bring to you a vastly more lasting and stable happiness.
And if you're thinking "oh but what about improving my health?" Well yes losing weight can do that. BUT read what
obesity experts
re finding about weight and health that we don't always hear about in the mainstream media. I'm also saying that, because our bodies contribute hugely to our low self esteem and lack of self-love, so many of us put our lives on hold until we reach some or other figure on the scale. We're going to
• buy that beautiful outfit when we're thin...
• dance as if we own the dance floor when we've lost weight ...
• allow ourselves to feel sexy when we wear a particular size clothing...
But in the meantime because we don't have high self-esteem, we're only living half a life, we're simply not fitting as much joyous living into each breath as what we can. What a waste of a life! The time to live is now, the time to love (especially yourself) is now! You see, one of the biggest secrets I had to discover is that living in a joy-filled body turns out to has less to do with having a particular size and shape body than I thought. Instead, it was when I grew spiritually and emotionally that I developed self-love, and then, all the obsessive 'noise' from stressing about my body went quiet. Whew! Here are some of the fabulous esteem-building exercises that have helped me.
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