How can Happy Eating benefit YOU?

We recently had a discussion on the Mind over Fatter forum about this and it helped me realize how different my life was when I was a fear-filled eater, instead of the joy-filled eater I now am.

Fear-filled eating isn't happy eating

It was like thinking my body was my enemy too, when it wasn't. I thought food was my enemy - it made me fat. In fact, I remember thinking I didn't even have to eat it for my waistline to expand. According to my fear-driven thinking back then - I was one of those people who just had to look at food in order for that to happen. No wonder I couldn't experience happy eating!

Food and eating occupied a disproportionate amount of my thinking. I wanted food desperately but at the same time feared and despised it. If I were describing a relationship, that would sound like a pretty dysfunctional one - wouldn't it? Well my relationship with food was.

I had a short list of ‘legal’ and a very list of ‘illegal’ foods. The 'good' foods were usually the ones I didn't want but felt I had to eat. And the 'bad' foods were the ones I craved but felt extreme levels of guilt if I did eat. Actually had you mentioned the idea of 'happy eating' I'd have laughed at you.

I calorie- or point-counted and worried about every morsel that went into my mouth. I was totally pre-occupied with what, when and how much I ate. Food was something to be stressed about. It was something I had to be ever-vigilent about because I apparently couldn't trust myself around it.

Happy eating is listening to your body

I sure couldn't go anywhere, anytime and eat whatever was available. I can't tell you how many times I either had to pack my own foods to phone my hostess to ask what she was serving so that I could adjust my eating. Sound like happy eating to you? It doesn't to me.

My conversation was littered with: "Thanks, but no thanks, I can't eat that because I'm on diet!" I often discussed diets and their do's and don'ts. I wouldn't have known how to have a conversation about happy eating - I'd have felt ashamed to admit that I allowed such a thing.

Joy-filled eating almost smacked of something illegal!

I'd be forever hiding my eating - a LOT of eating happened in secret and not just when I was eating from the 'bad' food side of the equation but I felt guilty even eating in public when I felt fat. I felt as if people were judging me for being a fat pig.

I restricted what I could eat and deprived myself of so many foodstuffs that bingeing was inevitable - I simply lived either starving or stuffing myself. Put me in front of a buffet and I could feel the panic rising. Calmness around food went right out the window! Happy eating was ka-zillion miles away.

I also spent many years being overly concerned about the ingredients of food, and how healthy they were or weren't and feeling guilt-ridden when everything I ate wasn't organic, sugar free, fat free or whatever. Fortunately, I managed to sidestep orthorexia.

So... what IS happy eating?

I eat in the open and more importantly I eat in the open with obvious enjoyment. I sometimes hum (I don't notice it until my hubby points it ou - it drives him nuts) when I find food I really love. I comment on how beautiful it looks, on it's textures and let everyone know how yummy it is. This is happy eating.

Any food that isn't delicious doesn't get eaten. Now that I'm into happy eating I just don't believe in eating anything that isn't totally delicious. Life is too short to eat bad food and I deserve great quality food.

I eat whenever I'm hungry – I never skip over my hunger because food has taken its rightful place as fuel (vitamins and minerals) - something I need to keep my body happy and healthy. Food is something I need for energy and to feel feel vibrant and alive.

I can go anywhere, be faced with any food and feel calm. I eat from the inside out –i.e. I'm ‘body-wise’. My eating is driven by my body’s needs. I usually only eat when I'm hungry, and almost always stop when I've had enough. You'll notice I said, 'usually' and 'almost always'. I'm just not obsessive about it.

I follow the 80/20% principle. I don't stress about only ever eating healthily, or only ever eating when I'm hungry, or only ever stopping when I've had enough.

I'm a little wonderfully imperfect human and I no longer strive to do eveything perfectly! Yay! Now that's living light.


Sorry, but if you're a believer in zero defect then joy-filled eating may be something you may have to give up every enjoying!

Happy eating means I never take part in 'dietspeak' unless it's to point out dismal failure of diets.

I may well still say "No thanks" to food but now it's because I'm either not hungry at the time (in which case I've been known to ask if I can take it for later - shocking I know!) or because I don't want or like what's on offer.

Please note I didn't say they are equally healthy - but I'm equally able to choose carrots or carrot cake without guilt. Joy-filled eating is definitely guilt-free eating.

I appreciate my food so much more. I make self-loving eating choices (which are usually healthy ones that are body-driven) because I 'wanna' and not because I 'hafta.'

Happy eating definitely stems from wannas and not haftas! And because I'm getting more flavour per mouthful - I don't eat as much. I feel satisfied far quicker.

When I eat unhealthily, or overeat, I don't turn it into fearful eating by berating myself and making it into this big guilt trip. I just don't make a big song and dance about it- instead I let it go and it becomes a non-issue.

A thought to ponder about fear-filled vs. happy eating.

Here's how. When I'm stressed my body diverts the energy usually utilized for digestion and other bodily processes to help me cope with the stress. So my digestion system doesn't operate at it's optimum level. Thus, under chronic stress your normal digestion of food is impaired.

Now add that to the fact that research shows that we consume more snack foods and sweet foods when we are in a negative state. Seventy three percent of the participants in one study reported an increase in non-nutritious snacking behavior during stress and a corresponding decrease in intake of vegetables, meat and fish.

So let's say you're a fear-filled eating dieter and you spot chocolate cake or you spot a juicy steak on the grill. You'd love some, but know you can't or shouldn't have it. You feel stressed and guilty but take a piece anyway. Just thinking those guilty and stressed out thoughts impairs your digestion so that your body can't digest it as well as it could.

Now let's say you're into joy-filled eating. You see that piece of chocolate cake, take it without guilt and then savour each morself. Because you're not stressed about it, you don't shut down your digestion and it works much better.

Same piece of chocolate cake - but your body accepts it and digests it better and you have a very different health outcome! Yay for that!

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