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Be a successful 'diet failure'

Diet failure is an idea you need to throw out the window if you're wanting to open up to the possibility that you can expand your definition of success.

I don't keep weight loss statistics for people because that alone does not tell me that they have been successful. Nor do I collect weight loss photos. I know... I'm terrible because if there is ever anything guaranteed to get people to buy your products it's those!

But Mind over Fatter success is so much more than weight loss - it's health-gain. And not just physical health, because spiritual and mental health are every bit (and sometimes more) as important to light and vibrant living as well as health. And that is way more important for me to help you achieve than just being thin!

Sometimes, what looks like a diet failure to outsiders counts as success for Mind over Fatter pilgrims because once you've freed yourself from the 'success measure' of weight loss only - then success can look different for each person as these three motivational stories illustrate:

Joy's story
She lost 2/3's of her body weight!

If you read Joy's incredible weight loss success story and only notice much weight she has lost, you're being trapped into diet-thinking again. You'd be thinking well at least she's been anything but a diet failure.

But here's the irony - if Joy had just lost the weight - without making the other joy-filled living changes she has, in my book, she'd have failed herself.

Because weight loss is NOT the most important part of her story. The part that is important is where Joy acknowledges it has been a physical, emotional and spiritual journey that is sustainable and not just about how she lost weight without dieting.

I began this journey in Sept 2004. I embarked on "Project Joy" getting my head together, doing the Mind over Fatter emotional processing workshops, going to therapy... in preparation for the radical re-emergence of ME!

At the time I weighed 187kg (411lbs), which on a 7ft frame is not attractive, so on my measly 1.52m (5ft) it looked positively monstrous! Since then I have managed to reshape myself into a rounded 69kg (151lbs) without being on a diet (and yes I think I am positively miniscule!)

It’s been a hard road not because I have been on a "diet" but because I have had to ask and answer (and am still asking and trying to answer!) all the big/hard/real questions. The real challenge for me has been in redefining all my relationships - from my marriage to children, friends and siblings.

It is a process as much around how you reshape your thinking as your body. And this is necessary for sustainability. It’s been a physical, emotional and spiritual journey or re-discovery.
(Joy) Sent: 11 October 2006 02:18 PM

Note from Cari - most people will look at the fact that Joy has lost 118 kgs (260lbs) and be wowed by her motivational story. And yes, I'm thrilled that she's been able to lose that weight but frankly I'm far more impressed with the mind makeover she's embarked on because it's this that will keep her all natural weight loss off in the long run.

Jane's story

Jane doesn't have any weight loss pictures to share. For her, giving up dieting and adopting the Mind over Fatter attitude towards exercise was what changed her life.

I haven't lost any weight (gave that up years ago!!) , exercise keeps me as I am, which is a heavier/higher body fat percentage than one would expect for the type of things I have done for fun.

I have climbed Kilimanjaro ran a race across the Kalahari Desert and this year ran across The Alps (240km in 8 days, through 4 countries), raising R50 000 for The Smile Foundation in the process.

Even though I've always loved running (ran marathons in my 20's), at times I would get out onto the road just to burn up calories, which also felt like punishment. Understanding the Mind over Fatter philosophy has changed that - I now see it as fun, good for my body and mind, and a great way to meet people and see new places. All a matter of attitude I suppose!
(Jane) Sent: 23 November 2007 10:37 PM

Note from Cari - it's Jane's mind where the changes have happened, not her body. According to the average plan, Jane would be labelled a diet failure because well um.... as she says...she hasn't lost weight.

But in my book she's a huge success because she's living a freer, fuller, healthier and more fun life- and that's what joy-filled living is all about!

Marelise's story

I think Marelize's sums it all up and puts it in a nice neat nutshell

Lets face it what we need is a healthy mind in a healthy body. If it wasn’t for Mind over Fatter, my goal in life wouldn’t have been a fit and healthy body, it would have been to be skinny. And that is SO NOT what its all about!!

We don’t measure our progress in kilos and centimetres. We measure it in our degrees to which our thinking has changed about our bodies, food, weight etc. …this is a journey of acceptance and realizing self worth. And definitely not a quick fix!
(Marelise) Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 4:00:17 PM

For me, these motivational stories are much more powerful than any before and after weight loss photos or so-called weight loss stories because their common ingredient is that the change is happening at a mind rather than just body level. That's what builds high self esteem and makes changes sustainable. By the way, here are some fabulous self-esteem-building-activites self-esteem building activities.

Don't under-estimate the whole 'you are a diet failure story' the weight loss industry sells us. Having us believe that we're the failures because we have no willpower. That's all nonsense ... diets are designed to fail.

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